Clerihew Contest WinnersPosted on: Jul 13, 2012
Last fall (2011), we held a Clerihew Poetry Contest, and since the results were so good I am reposting the results. That way we can still enjoy them on our new website!
First prize went to Daniel van den Bosch, for his clever clerihew about Malebranche:
Malebranche believed in Occasionalism;
Solving the difficult mind/body schism.
He once spilled his milk when he was a kid,
And then scolded the heavens: "God! – Look what you did!"
Our second place winner, with a very elegant clerihew, was Jessica Gosselin:
Carl Friedrich Gauss
Drew a curve in his house.
There’s no other modality
To measure normality.
And, last but not least, Sean Henry gave us this witty biography of Vincent van Gogh:
Vincent Van Gogh
Was a painter, as you know,
But in the time he had free
He did ear surgery
There were many other very worth entries, and the judges (a number of your English professors) had a hard time choosing. What follows next is all the honorary mentions!
A wise little Indian man named Ghandi
Freed from tyranny the people of his country.
When asked of his wife’s cooking
He said it's what kept him from eating when no one was looking.
Muhammad Ali stood for principles.
Some even thought him to be invincible,
But when it came to Joe Frazier, I’m afraid
Ali needed more than a band-aid.
Was an angling suitor.
For one wife he did wish,
A nun in a barrel o’ fish
What a snooze
There is nothing quite as awful
As ANOTHER Mission Impossible
discovering patients with repressed feelings,
but it usually made them hit the ceiling .
Martin Luther may have been a scholar,
But the Protestant reformation never made him a dollar.
He fought against indulgence,
And ended up with a clearer conscience.
Wrote music that was far from dirt
Although he died at an early age
His music finally made it onstage.
Only your mother
Comes close to the others.
Had a noodle
Tucked into his hat.
Ben van den Bosch:
Descartes walked into a French cafe
The waiter asked: "do you want cofee today?"
"I think not," the philosopher said,
And turned to leave, but vanished instead.
Immanuel Kant and his friend, 'Ding-an-sich'
Strolled hand in hand through the Konigsberg district
"Dear thing-in-itself," Kant said with a sigh,
"I just can't get to know you as much as I try."
Brave Joan of Arc
Was left in the dark
In an English jail
Yet her faith did not fail.
The great Wayne Gretzky
Was exceedingly testy
When Sather gave him a cough
He told him puck off.
Loved his fine wine
His brilliant equations
Led to late-night libations.