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Clerihew Contest Winners

Posted on: Jul 13, 2012

Last fall (2011), we held a Clerihew Poetry Contest, and since the results were so good I am reposting the results.  That way we can still enjoy them on our new website!

First prize went to Daniel van den Bosch, for his clever clerihew about Malebranche:

    Malebranche believed in Occasionalism;
    Solving the difficult mind/body schism.
    He once spilled his milk when he was a kid,
    And then scolded the heavens: "God! – Look what you did!"

Our second place winner, with a very elegant clerihew, was Jessica Gosselin:

    Carl Friedrich Gauss
    Drew a curve in his house.
    There’s no other modality
    To measure normality.

And, last but not least, Sean Henry gave us this witty biography of Vincent van Gogh:

    Vincent Van Gogh
    Was a painter, as you know,
    But in the time he had free
    He did ear surgery

There were many other very worth entries, and the judges (a number of your English professors) had a hard time choosing.  What follows next is all the honorary mentions!

Sean Henry:

    A wise little Indian man named Ghandi
    Freed from tyranny the people of his country.
    When asked of his wife’s cooking
    He said it's what kept him from eating when no one was looking.

    Muhammad Ali stood for principles.
    Some even thought him to be invincible,
    But when it came to Joe Frazier, I’m afraid
    Ali needed more than a band-aid.

Benjamin Krispin:

    Martin Luther
    Was an angling suitor.
    For one wife he did wish,
    A nun in a barrel o’ fish

Bailey Gardecki:

    Tom Cruise
    What a snooze
    There is nothing quite as awful
    As ANOTHER Mission Impossible

Angela Anderson:

    Sigmund Freud
    generally enjoyed
    discovering patients with repressed feelings,
    but it usually made them hit the ceiling .

    Martin Luther may have been a scholar,
    But the Protestant reformation never made him a dollar.
    He fought against indulgence,
    And ended up with a clearer conscience.

    Franz Schubert
    Wrote music that was far from dirt
    Although he died at an early age
    His music finally made it onstage.

Jessica Gosselin:

    Sigmund Freud
    Favoured boys.
    Only your mother
    Comes close to the others.

    Yankee Doodle
    Had a noodle
    Tucked into his hat.
    Imagine that!

Ben van den Bosch:

    Descartes walked into a French cafe
    The waiter asked: "do you want cofee today?"
    "I think not," the philosopher said,
    And turned to leave, but vanished instead.

    Immanuel Kant and his friend, 'Ding-an-sich'
    Strolled hand in hand through the Konigsberg district
    "Dear thing-in-itself," Kant said with a sigh,
    "I just can't get to know you as much as I try."

Sara Campos-Silvius:

    Brave Joan of Arc
    Was left in the dark
    In an English jail
    Yet her faith did not fail.

    The great Wayne Gretzky
    Was exceedingly testy
    When Sather gave him a cough
    He told him puck off.

    Albert Einstein
    Loved his fine wine
    His brilliant equations
    Led to late-night libations.